Silence

Today, I am scared. Someone I once called a friend has a drinking problem. I fear she will drink herself to death. Even though she and I are no longer close, I do not want to lose her.

We are too young to lose ourselves to a bottle of whiskey or vodka or whatever other inebriating substance we can get our hands on. Just because here in Singapore the drinking age is 18 (and let's face it, loads of younger people drink), doesn't mean we should. There is more to life than a few hours having fun feeling drunk. There's love, pain, dreams, disasters, trials, errors, achievement, failure... more than I could ever state on a blog.

I used to hope that maybe this girl was crumbling to peer pressure, and after the main source dried up, she'd be alright again.

I was mistaken. I don't know if it's technically an addiction in her case, but I believe it is. I fear what she'll do when she feels there are no limits. I can only hope that someone will take care of her, and am fortunate that people have been. Yet, people's patience can get used up. There may not always be people around for her. When she is alone- that is when I fear for her the most.

If you make yourself vulnerable under the influence, you are increasing your chances of something bad happening to you. Alcohol poisoning. Choking on your own vomit. Getting hit by a car because you thought it was a good idea to run into traffic. The list goes on: disgusting, horrific ways to die a young death.

Friend, forgive me.

But I had to tell someone. I don't want to stand up at your funeral and have to tell the truth.

That I knew...

...and said nothing.

Quick Update

Well, it's no surprise that things have been busy lately. I'm juggling dance, tech, school, more dance, and college apps. While this workload is apparently not as bad as university, it's not exactly relaxing either. I've been feeling bad about not blogging as much, but I just don't have the time.

Since I had to convert a PDF to a Word document and it's taking forever, I figured I had a moment.

Dance is going okay. I'm the dormouse in Alice and Wonderland, which sounds incredibly insignificant. However, I find the part really fun because I get to interact with lots of people and potentially have a decent amount of stage time because in theory no one will remember what scene I'm really supposed to be in. Teehee. Maybe getting a part I didn't know existed wasn't a bad thing after all.

I'm going to try out for IASAS dance, which is basically my school's varsity dance team. I didn't make it sophomore year and didn't try out Junior year... Well, it would be great if I did, but not a surprise if I didn't make it.





Also, this song is pretty much helping me get through life.

Busy Bee Me

Oops, it's been a while since I've last posted. Sorry about that. I've just been so busy trying to balance school, college, tech, dance and having a life (the last bit is largely imaginary). Senior year of high school is a busy time for everyone- there's more work on our plates than ever before. I'm taking 3 AP classes (though one isn't very hard), Dance Performance (which I love, but is a real time-eater), English and Chinese (another time eater). Thankfully I have 2 free periods this semester to allow me to get my college apps done, or just get a moment to chat with friends and rest.

I know high school is nowhere near as busy as college is going to be, though. I've made  a bunch of decisions in that regard that I'm generally pleased with. I'm pretty certain I'm only looking at US schools at this point, which is a mixed bag. I really liked the UK, but the US gives me more options and opportunities to work for the US government (shocker, I know). At least, that's the theory behind my choice. Maybe I'll go to the UK for my Master's or something, that would be pretty cool.

My dad's birthday was on Tuesday and I made him minion cupcakes.

Almost too cute to eat!

Really Now?

Things have been extremely busy, so this is going to be a super short post. Anyways, I was messing around on Facebook and saw that someone had posted this. How the heck can something like this occur? The level of inequality frightens me, namely because it does not seem even remotely sustainable. Between the environment, the political situation, World War III ready to break out (if you agree with some of my more... liberal friends) and the amount of nasty chemicals allowed in diet soda, we're all going down together. Isn't that scary?

Yesterday was September 11, and to be honest, here in Singapore no one really blinked. I cannot decide if I feel bad about this or not. While naturally a horrific terrorist attack on the United States was miserable, it has also been 12 years. The amount of fear, prejudice and racism that was born as a result of 9-11 is terrifying, and has shaped American's mindsets and foreign policy.

Isn't it time to stop looking at the colour of people's skin and the places that they worship?


Also, a thought on chemical weapons. Why is it "okay" for people to kill with bullets and bombs on a daily basis, but once the chemical weapons come out, everyone gets fussy? Yeah, chemical weapons are pretty horrific, but since when have people followed rules in war? International law is nice, but when the technology is available, people are going to use it. If you make something taboo, you strengthen its power to frighten and anger.

Just a few thoughts.

Minor Mistake

There are some days where you do something stupid, knowing it's stupid. I'm not talking about drinking or drugs- I'm talking about going to the grocery store on a Saturday in the late afternoon. Saturday is helper shopping day- a special day where people send their helpers to do the grocery shopping for the next decade that often involves multiple carts, long queues, and loads of people chattering away on their handphones. It's not a day to try and run to the store for a couple of plastic bags, digestive biscuits, and butter. Oh no. You'll be standing in the queue for pretty much eternity. The "express" lines won't be any faster, since there are only half a million people there that mysteriously all break the 10 item rule.

Aside from my pitiful shopping list, I also bought a foam roller. These are things used to massage muscles that are all the rage in the dance and fitness world. I got a cute pink one for $35 that probably cost $5 to make and $10 to ship, which is a little annoying. Nonetheless, I don't know why I did not buy it sooner. I've rolled out my legs and can honestly say I never knew I was that tight. Dancers get a weird joy out of counting bruises and rating pain scales on the foam roller (at least, the dancers I know do). I'd rate it as somewhere between a 6 and an 8, depending on the muscle group. Will probably be sore tomorrow.

So now I'm babysitting and watching a really repetitive, boring movie with absolutely no plot about football and dance. I'm not really sure if there is a purpose to this movie, or if it just exists to make money off children's parents who want to watch something from Disney. I can't focus on homework because the volume is up to high, and sitting in the kitchen while the girls watch the darned thing. So now I'm stuck watching a dumb movie about football and ballet, regretting that I wasted so much time today. Well- there's always tomorrow.

Curious Things

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, mainly because I've had an odd amount of free time disguised as legitimate classes. The vast majority of my teachers have all decided to have tests on the same day, which is a real pain. This weekend is going to be a lot of self-directed study... which actually, I don't mind. Anyways, here are some things that I found kind of funny.

1. I'm never going to be able to give my kids crap for climbing on the counters, because they're going to watch me do it every day. Here's to being too short to reach the upper cabinets!

2. Even though I got a pretty girly class ring, it's still going to look big on my hands, because I have baby hands.

3. A bird died on the stairwell a couple of days ago. They removed the carcass, but bird feathers are still all over the place. First of all, how hard is it to sweep up? Second, the theories behind why there are so many bird feathers everywhere are hilarious. I don't know who else saw the poor bird, but people seem to think birds have shedding seasons in which ALL their feathers fall off. Come on, people.

4. My school cafeteria sells amazing baked pasta, and I only found out today. So much for being healthy...

5. A Subway Italian BMT has 450 calories, compared to a Turkey-Ham having 290. In short, Subway is not very good for you- and the cookies are about 200 calories each.

6. Ovaltine Milk Drink is apparently the world's greatest cure all for all ages if you believe their packaging.  

7. I cannot draw a realistic looking bear for my life. I'm pretty good at cutesy animals, but a realistic bear with a snout (the horror!) looks incredibly stupid. However, I can draw a darn cute mouse and bunny.

My Dad Eats Weird Things for Lunch

My father sure has been up to some strange things lately. From finding a rather large house gecko riding around in his pants to fiddling endlessly with his remote control helicopter thingy, he's quite busy. I feel like most of his funny stories happen when my mother and I aren't around...

His work serves lots of interesting things for lunch quite cheaply, so he's always eating in the cafeteria there (though sometimes only fruit when he gets down there late). Two days ago, they were serving Dim Sum (which he only found about after he had already bought lunch). It was like $3.50 and appeared to be a pick-what-you'd-like affair, so he was quite sad to miss out on it. However, yesterday was another local delicacy- chicken feet! Some of his coworkers wouldn't get within 10 metres of it. Yet, my dad tried it after listening to one of his female coworkers go on and on about how good for the skin it was.

Apparently, chicken feet tastes like "gooey barbecued chicken skin". He finished most of 1, which was very polite of him. Not entirely certain if I would try it... well, I'm more likely to try chicken feet than durian!

Discoveries

I've made some interesting discoveries recently! Since I don't feel like structuring a decent post, I'm going to list them below.

1. Cold Creme. Seriously, this stuff is amazing. I've used it to get stage makeup off my face since I started ACAS, but I never considered using it beyond that. However, I've been washing my face with it in the evenings and my skin has been nice and soft. Even though I've heard mineral oil is not good for your skin, it hasn't done anything bad to mine yet. The stuff is really greasy though.

2. Demi Lovato can actually sing. Somebody sent me a "Disney Stars with Actual Talent" email as part of a chain, and I was really impressed.

3. No matter how good you are at what you do, you're going to have an idiot's momenta and forget everything. I could not remember how to turn on the lights to the auditorium today for the life of me.

4. A surprising number of people marry their high school or college sweethearts. Not sure why, but all these stories keep popping up. Isn't that strange?

5. Cliff Bars have 22 grams of sugar... and a Hershey bar has 24. Lovely. Glad to know my school isn't selling "candy" anymore in the hopes that the school gets more "healthy".


Well, there you go. Anything surprise you here?

Uneventful Sunday

There's no real reason to post today except that it's the first of September. I cannot recall if that means it's really the "first day of autumn", but for all intents and purposes I think it is. Sadly, Natalie's first day of autumn was spent indoors alternating between having the aircon on when the room got stuffy and off once I froze.  Gloriously exciting, I know.

Though from what I understand it's quite warm in Boston, I'll recount what it was like to be small waiting for autumn to really settle in. The last days of summer were lazy and hazy- thunder in the midst of a dark day, or so bright opening up your eyes was hard. The pool at the local community club got filled with dead bugs and pine leaves as people went on last-minute summer holidays. It was too hot to really do anything at all, yet sometimes the nights cooled down just enough to remind everyone that eventually, winter would come.

I miss knowing that there would be change. The "rainy season" and "dry season" business doesn't really do it for me. This is my third year living here, and in a lot of ways it feels like my first. Social aspects aside, without a change of season it is hard to remember that time is really moving forward. I suppose not growing taller any more doesn't help the situation. Lately when I've been looking in the mirror I've realised that my hair has actually gotten rather long. Not as long as when I moved here, but fast approaching. When I leave, it will be the same length as when I arrived- like I had never been here in the first place. Isn't that curious?

There is no way to judge time here in Singapore with everything so rhythmic and predictable.

Pondering leads to dreams, and dreams lead to cheesy songs. This cover sounds better than the original... but the lyrics are still cheesy!