The Last Post

I'm writing this from the airport lounge at Changi. This is it, folks. Three years and a bit of blogging on Sent to Singapore ends when I hit "Publish" after I'm done writing. More of the experience of moving back to the USA will be posted on Back to Boston, since that all is part of the experience. Photos I haven't uploaded on here will go there, such as Boxville, the luggage, and Marina Bay Sands.

Singapore was an amazing home for three years. I tried things I had never heard of, graduated high school, partied my heart out and got lost and found myself again. I travelled to more places than some people go in their lifetimes and found the love of my high school years. Singapore gave me more than I could ever give it, and I am nothing but grateful.

Today my mom and I started by swimming in the Infinity Pool at Marina Bay Sands. It's crowded and really just an illusion of being on the edge of the place, but it was a sort of magical experience. We could see the buildings that were near our house, but again, not our apartment itself. I looked down onto Scape and Cathay Cineleisure and tried to remember the last time I was there. Getting MOS Burger and bubble tea, I think? I can't remember, but I do know at the time I didn't think it was the last time we'd be there. I saw ION and thought about how I hated navigating Orchard Station and the million tourists. My last few days in Singapore, I was a tourist. I went to the ArtScience Museum and was impressed by their massive dinosaur exhibit. We saw the Annie Leibovitz exhibit and wondered how one woman managed to shape our perspectives of the world so simply through the lens of her camera. We ate overpriced cupcakes (High Society in Marina Bay Sands, not impressive). Today was our last day, and we tried to live it without thinking about the clock ticking over our heads, reminding us that our time was limited.

Now we're in the airport, and there are people running around like ants. Everyone here thinks they know where they are going, but they don't really. They don't know what awaits them wherever they go, even if it's the place they call home. There's a certain amount of mystery that the future holds, no matter how well we try to plan it out.

So, farewell Singapore. It was a good ride.


www.natillie.com

From Marina Bay Sands

I meant to post last night, but I guess that just didn't end up happening. Anyways, hi! I'm writing from Marina Bay Sands.

The hotel is pretty different from others I've been too. It's a little more public than most other hotels of this class, and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. We're facing the city (which is the view to have), and it's beautiful. I can see the Mandarin Orchard Hotel, Takashimaya, ION, and the Singtel building... so close to where I used to live!

Today I went to the Sky at 57 for breakfast, which was really something else. For quite a sum of money you can get access to a huge buffet plus two generous menu items. It was something else! I had ramen and Eggs Benedict. Both were generous portions and it was quite lovely.

After that, we finally went to the River Safari. I'd been wanting to go since I saw the adverts months and months ago. It was a pretty great experience! We went on the very short little boat ride thing, saw manatees and jaguars, and even cute little crocodiles. Though I must saw I think my order-of-liking of the zoo park things is Jurong Bird Park, Zoo, River Safari and Night Safari, all are worth doing. But if you only have time for one, go for Jurong Bird Park. There's a cool tram thing that lets you see basically everything, and it's not very expensive. Also, my family likes birds, and I'm bias towards it.


So many things have changed in the past three years. I thought about how my food preferences had changed while walking to Gong Cha today.

I'm not reaching for Starbucks, I'm reaching for Gong Cha.
I don't eat chicken noodle soup when I'm feeling down, I get chicken congee.
A quick treat isn't a candy bar, it's a macaroon from TWG or a mochi from Mochi Sweets.
Froyo isn't really a thing here, but it's growing quickly with Yoguru and Yogurberry.


I was really disappointed that the Gong Cha in MBS was closed. I walked over there after getting back from closing up the apartment, and the darn thing was boarded up all pretty-like. The floor was too shiny and the people too loud. Singapore is home, but MBS is weirdly like a cruise, or a resort. You could spend a while here without ever really leaving the complex. Live in a bubble within a bubble of a bubble. That's MBS, in downtown, in Singapore. It's suspended in luxury, and a most marvellous, if fragile, work of art.

I'm going to miss Singapore. I've been saying that for a while now, but today confirmed it. As I walked around in the apartment in my shoes and stood in the rooms that we once called home, I realised that for right now, I don't have a home. I have places I want to call home, but I'm quickly leaving this place, will not spend much time in New Jersey where my parents will live, and have to wait for Boston. Right now, I don't know where my home is. I'm suspended, like Marina Bay Sands.


Check out my new blog: www.natillie.com

Last Post from the Apartment

It's official. I'm trying to type this as fast as I can, because once my mom's computer stops updating we're shutting off the Internet here and bringing it back to Singapore. I'm sitting on the floor surrounded by suitcases, most closed, a few open and spilling its contents everywhere.

I took photos of the apartment that I'll upload later. Boxville is quickly turning into Nothingville. The apartment may be still ours in name, but there's very little of it that identifies it as such now.

For a treat, I ran out to Great World City to buy bubble tea, lime juice, and local sweets for my family. That was the last time I'll be there for a long, long time.

It's quickly becoming the last of everything. Will the MRT ride home from Plaza Singapura be the last? How strange...  everyday events are quickly becoming memories.

So, goodbye from the apartment. Next update will be from a hotel!


Check out my new blog:  www.natillie.com

Living in Boxville

I live in a place called Boxville now. It used to be called "The Apartment" where my family lives, but it's thoroughly Boxville now. There's no colour in Boxville but brown, and it smells like a forest of cardboard and adhesive.

Need a plate? Have a paper one, because the proper ones are living in Boxville.
Need a chair? Have the floor, because there's only one chair left in this apartment that didn't move to Boxville.

I don't even have a bed anymore... I have a mattress on the floor like I did when I was a child for a couple of months.

Today was sort of an eventful day. I spent a good deal of it lounging around on my bed before the movers started packing my room, only to go to the current luggage holding area (former guest room) to find my dad sitting on the floor zoning out. Mom was on her computer (and the only chair in the house), so I put my blankets on the floor for Dad and I to sit on. We ate Boon Tong Kee leftovers, which was fantastically good. I'm going to miss Boon Tong Kee a lot... everyone in Singapore ought to go there at least once! I then had a terrific headache and ended up napping on the floor. When I woke up, my room was only a Boxville replica of what it had been before.

When I moved from Bedford, I had a funny feeling the room would somehow remember that I grew up in it. I'm not sure if this room will remember me, or if this apartment will even be standing next year. However, I'm going to miss the built-in bookcase that helped me pick this room, and the lovely, if outdated, blue paisley bathroom. As I look up from the mattress on the floor, I notice that this apartment has really high ceilings. It's a beautiful place, and I wish Singapore wouldn't tear it down because it's outdated. It's old-fashioned, but sometimes we all need a little of that.

Someone who read my blog for a good long while before moving to Singapore herself asked me if I'd keep blogging here. I won't be, but the new URL is here. I'm pretty confident that I'm going to be blogging more in Boston, and I'm toying with the idea of doing reviews and possibly adding some ads for a little extra money. As a college student, I don't want to burden my parents with my personal expenses, so as much as possible, I want to help out. We'll see.

What won't change is that I like Singapore. High school wasn't the greatest, but at least I didn't peak in it. However, I don't think I've ever really hated the lifestyle here. In fact, I'm going to miss it greatly. Where else in the world can I walk down the street to 10+ shopping centres and eat whatever I'd like? Where else can I feel this safe? Where else has the variety and the opportunities that Singapore had for me?

Singapore, I'm glad I was sent here.


Check out my new blog: www.natillie.com

The 25kg Monster

It's big. It's purple. It weighs what feels like half a ton. It only moves on two "legs".

That's right folks, it's my suitcase. I've managed to stuff most of my wardrobe into a big purple monster that's going to fly within a week all the way from Singapore to the US. To be honest, I had no idea how many clothes I had until the suitcase started getting full. Then I started thinking. 

I am so incredibly lucky that I've been able to live in Singapore. When I was walking home today from baking a cheesecake with the lady I used to work for, I considered how amazing things really are for me. I've been to more foreign countries than US states, something I'm pretty impressed with. I have fantastic clothes from places people haven't even heard of, and I've see crazy things. 

I've also learned that the more you see, the easier it is to put one's own life into perspective. We think we are the heroes of amazing journeys, but in fact are little more than tiny units in this big world. There are paths that will never cross and places that may never be discovered. We are so small. Moving to Singapore expanded my horizons and in many ways shrunk my belief of self-importance. 

So even as I pack to leave this island, I think about how lucky I am to have been able to live a charmed life, which few people can ever say they truly did. 

Dwindling Days...

I have less than ten days left in Singapore. Ten days, and I will no longer be "Sent to Singapore"...

As I was walking home from work today, I thought about the things I will miss the most in Singapore. Some were obvious, like the MRT and fantastic food. Other things were less so- the fact that I am surrounded by Asians is both a blessing and a curse, for example. Or odd things like the fact that safety precautions for roadwork are so relaxed... sure, it's more dangerous, but it also means that here people are expected to take responsibility for their own actions.

Something I must confess is at the end of the day, I did not really get to know Singapore. Sure, I know Orchard Road and Woodlands pretty well, but I can't say I truly managed to grasp what it's like to be a local here. My experience here, by choice, has been one of an expat. It's not a bad thing in many ways. I've been to Japan and England and Turkey with my school. I finishing my America education without too much difficultly, and was privileged to be part of an excellent dance program. Yet, I never became really local.

Before I know it, I'll be back in a land where people don't question what language I speak. Unlike Singapore, where people can tell I'm somewhere between 18-24, in the United States people honestly don't know. While some consider the United States the greatest country in the world, I've been to enough places now to know that all are different, with their own strengths and weaknesses. I've tried to shed my ignorance of the world around me to the best of my ability, and I think I've succeeded to an extent. There's no way that three years living abroad has made me a truly global citizen, whatever that catchphrase means, but it has made me aware.

As the days here come to an end, I'm constantly wondering when things will be my last of something. Did I just eat my last Pepper Lunch today? Or the last Mochi Sweet? When is the next time I will take the MRT, if I take it again at all? Where is next place I will go that has such a great MRT (It's not Boston)? Is anyone still around?

It's also made me wonder what will happen to this blog. I'm sure in a few years I'll have to take it down, or it will get lost, or for professional reasons it won't be wise to keep it up. In the meantime, though, I'm going to try writing as much as I can, and try not to waste a moment.

Check out my new blog:  Back to Boston

The Countdown Begins

I just got back from two weeks in the USA, and a lot happened there. I can't talk about everything, because that's crazy and I'm stupidly jetlagged.

The first week in the USA was spent primarily in New Jersey. We searched for a house during the first three days, and actually found a house we are interested in on day 2. To prevent jinxing anything to do with the house, I will stop there. We also looked around for cars, got oriented with the area (haha, what the heck is a township?), and found that New Jersey people say "coffee" as "cwafee". I was pretty surprised that New Jersey is so... rural. Some houses we saw were essentially in the middle of no-where. The "funniest house award" goes to a property with a pool directly under low-hanging power lines. Not really sure who decided that was safe!

The second week was spent in Massachusetts, during which time I did my BU orientation. I stayed three extra nights (only Thursday night was mandatory), but it was a lot of fun. I met more people than I could possibly remember and even, oddly enough, three kids from my old school. One was kind enough to catch me up on all the town's gossip. Small town stuff :D

I also got to visit my boyfriend, which was neat. I saw the show he was working, which comprised of two monologues, Monocular Man (his website) and one about going to and getting sick in India (Madras). When I remember the second one's name, I'll try and edit this post. We took the T to the theatre, which left much to be desired after taking Singapore's MRT for three years.

Well, I'm home now, and about ready to pass out. I took a nap earlier but still feel like death. Here's to holding out until... 8 pm!

The countdown for moving back to the USA starts... now!

Nightlife in Singapore

The legal drinking age in Singapore is 18, and many, many people take advantage of it. While some people say it's the best part about living in Singapore, I will politely disagree. However, it's undeniably a cool part about living here. I haven't done a lot of partying, mostly because I waited until I was legal to do so. So, here's some of the places I've been.

Zouk:  My first night out! Zouk is a beautiful club, and even though the cover charge is $45, it's worth it for a special occasion. I went to Zouk to see Disclosure, which was pretty neat. The atmosphere is unbelievable, and it's architecturally impressive. Even though the night I went was packed, I still had a good time.

Avalon: Right on Marina Bay, Avalon has an amazing location. The outside is glass, which earns it serious cool points. I went there with Nick a few weekends ago and we had a pretty good time.

Bianca: After-grad was held at Bianca, which is in the heart of Clarke Quay. I must admit, it's tiny. However, it's not a bad club, like many people were saying.

Chupitos: Shots bar! This place is so fun. It has a slightly wild atmosphere while being laid back. Go figure. They have some crazy shots.... worth a try for sure!

Places I want to go: Attica, St. James Power Station


Being able to club in Singapore is great, but one certainly has to keep in mind that there is a degree of risk to it. I haven't gone out that much, but I've seen people get pretty sick. At one party, people were totally floppy drunk... not even sloppy, just falling over. While I do think the drinking age in general should be 18 (if you can die for your country and vote for its leaders, why not be able to have a pint?), I think the attitude towards alcohol that parents and society fosters is extremely important. Americans have a crazy binge culture... in college, kids drink for the sake of drinking. I'm not saying that I don't do that at times, but I can also appreciate a glass of wine at dinner. If people treat alcohol like some forbidden substance, others will want it even more.

Make of that what you will.

I Graduated

Well, it's been two days since I graduated from high school, and it's been a whirlwind. I successfully walked across the stage, shook hands with the principal, and got my diploma. I currently have no idea where said diploma is, but it's floating around my house somewhere. Good enough.

Below is the Senior Video, which is tradition. My class was super lucky to get an awesome film guy, as well as a great animator, to create this video. Check it out, it's pretty darn awesome. I tie my pointe shoes in it and do a kick. However, I'm not the girl walking away with the pointe shoes... my legs aren't that long!





Since graduation, I feel like I've been partying and sleeping non-stop. It's strange how much freer I feel now that I'm not in high school. I can do what I want and hang out with who I'd like... the social boundaries are gone.

WOOHOO! I GRADUATED!

The Eve of Graduation

Tomorrow, I graduate from high school.

What a crazy statement to be able to write. Tomorrow, I'm going to be able to call myself an alumni of something. I wonder what freshman-year Natalie would have thought.  Graduating on a tiny island with a class I really don't know is so different from the small town I grew up in. There were kids that I went to preschool with that I would have graduated with. I wish I had been able to do so.

To be honest,  I think high school graduation has more significance to parents than students. Yes, graduating high school is an accomplishment... I guess. In this day and age in which having a bachelor's degree gets you an interview, not a job, a high school diploma doesn't really matter. It's not that hard to graduate from high school in the environment I live in. In many places, graduating from high school is in fact an achievement. But here in Singapore, if you don't graduate from high school, something is seriously wrong with you.

Here in Singapore, at least in expat-land Singapore, the accomplishment goes to the parents. The parents, who have managed to transplant their lives who knows how many times. The parents, who have managed to raise mostly-functioning kids despite strange circumstances and even stranger experiences at times, deserve the recognition. Graduating from a school that is willing to spoon-feed and hand-lead students to receiving their diploma is not an accomplishment. But to support and guide someone through this craziness certainly is.

So, on the eve of my high school graduation, I want to thank my parents. My parents, who have done more for me than I could ever name. Thank you.

Legality Smells Like Vodka Cranberry

Well, I had my first weekend out as a legal adult here in Singapore. I can't say it was the best weekend ever, mostly because I ended up becoming a dictator Friday night after people got sick. For their privacy, I'm not going to tell those stories on this blog. I will say, however, that being young does not mean you are invincible. Also, I need a substantial amount of money back after SOMEONE got sick in the taxi. And it wasn't me. Oh no, it wasn't. The end.

I had a birthday tea on Saturday, which was really fun. We went to the Fullerton Hotel for the second seating of afternoon tea. The food was pretty good, but the environment made the whole event quite lovely. I am so lucky that I was able to find a good group of girls to hang out with as the semester comes to a close.

After tea time I went clubbing for the very first time ever. Most kids here in Singapore do club... but I'm not here to bust my classmates. Anyways, I went to Zouk, which is an internationally recognised club. It's beautiful inside. It does not look like much from the outside, but inside there are tunnels and lights and smoke puffing from machines every 30 seconds. Disclosure was playing, which was nice except that there were about a million people on the dance floor. People were pushing rather than dancing and the idiots that decided to bring drinks onto the dance floor spilled them everywhere. I personally got splashed with a vodka cranberry, which I really did not appreciate. Regardless, I can say it was an experience.

It's funny how in Singapore for us expat kids, legality means drinking. It doesn't mean driving (who wants to drive on this little island?!), and it doesn't mean voting. It means self-indulging and having wild nights, remembering half of it the next day (though I remember everything). It also means dancing on platforms and getting videos posted online, then laughing through worry that someone important will see it.

Granted, I'm underage in America but posting about drinking in Singapore. Are there potential repercussions? I don't know yet. If there are, I'll take this post down. However, anyone trying to convince themselves that American kids don't drink in America as teenagers really need to get a grip. I personally didn't, but I know many that did. Alcohol is one of those funny topics, isn't it?

The Eve of Eighteen

In less than three hours by the time I post this blog, I will be eighteen years old. Isn't that crazy? I started this blog as a scared fifteen year old getting ready to enter sophomore year of high school. Now I sit, a lazy senior, waiting to take two more AP exams before I can avoid anything "College Board" related again. In less than three hours I can vote. I can drink (here in Singapore, that is). I can be tried in court as an adult. Big things, that all happen in less than three hours.

At the moment though, I must admit that I've been terribly distracted by none other than the menace that lives above me in this apartment. There's obviously a child in the bedroom above me, for I can hear it screaming and seemingly jump on the bed. It's very annoying. What is worse is that I hear yelling at various times during the day. Sometimes I can hear individual words. Currently I hear a tantrum. It makes me want to tear my hair out.

So even though I'm about to become an adult, I still get annoyed by very childish things. Perhaps that's the beauty of the phase known as "young adulthood"...

I suppose I'll know for sure when I'm older.

At least I'll see Nick tomorrow! He flew in this morning, and I am extremely excited.

Best Eats According to Natalie

When I was walking home from the MRT with a bubble tea cup in hand, I started thinking about all the wonderful food in Singapore- and how I'll have to say goodbye to it all in about two months! That made me very sad, but this list will not. Here's my list of favourite places to eat (and what I get)!

Food:

Roti Prata: My school does decent roti prata, but there's a Muslim food stall in Newton that makes prata that's sort of like cake. Super thick, chewy, and the curry is awesome!
Chicken Rice: Boon Tong Key is awesome. I find that mall hawkers are good, but the stuff that's $3 or less and comes wrapped in paper beats it every time.
Laksa: The stall in ION is pretty good. I only eat this once in a while.
Chili Crab: Jumbo's is good. So is No Signboard Seafood. Also, Long Beach.
TWG: It has surprisingly good food, though pricy. The smoked salmon and lamb is notable.
Ban Mee: It's soup. It's heavenly. Also, it's super filling.
Chicken Congee: I get this at chicken rice places sometimes. I have no idea why people think salty rice porridge with chicken and oil floating on top is weird. It's wonderful.
"Veggie"-- I'm pretty certain this stuff is bok choy. Who cares when it has oyster sauce on it?
Chicken wings: BBQ'd and greasy, best eaten outside.
Kuay Teow: Thick noodles, lots of bean sprouts and mysterious green veggie, and chicken. Mr. Ho's at school is such a guilty pleasure.
Char siew noodles: Chinese prepared pork, these funky elastic-y noodles, and mystery sauce of tasty.



Snacks:
Old Chang Kee-- Curry-O (curry puff with chicken, egg and potato)
BreadTalk: The cheesy sausage bun is so bad for you, but so good. Also Black Pearl when they have it.
To be honest, I don't normally eat savoury snacks.


Sweets:
Macaroons: TWG has pretty good tea themed ones, but you can get tasty ones throughout the island if you don't mind paying like $2.50 each.
Kue things: Not sure what the real name for these are, but they are funny jelly things that are normally brightly coloured. Often found at fruit stands.
Mochi Sweets: Strawberry, peach, and green tea mochi with cream inside!
Pulot Hitam: Black rice soup with condensed milk and sometimes ice cream. Maybe an acquired taste. My aunt said it looked like drowned ants, but its really good.

Frozen Treats:
Bread Ice Cream: Find along Orchard Road for $1. Slice of ice cream in a piece of rainbow bread
Ice Kachang: Local thing with lots of colour and various Asian goodies. The aunties at Great World City sometimes give me extra condensed milk on mine
Frozen Yogurt: Great World City has like 3 frozen yogurt places. I like the self-serve one or Yoguru the best.
Gelatissimo: YUM. Expensive as heck, but wow.


Drinks:
Gong Cha-- Regular bubble tea, Lemon Calpis
ShareTea-- Strawberry Ice Tea. Unnatural colour, but yummy!
Each-a-Cup: Milk tea ice-blended, basically any ice blended (kinda like a slushy)
Toast Box: Teh and Kopi (tea and coffee with condensed milk)
Sjora: Passion fruit flavoured drink. I get it when I go to Yoshinoya sometimes.
TWG: Fancy teas in a pretty pot. I like "dancing tea" and "princess tea"
Lime Juice: Find anywhere. Different than American lime juice. Its cousin calamansi juice is also wonderful.

Coming to a Close

It is crazy to think that I started this blog over three years ago. I was a very different person then than the one I am now-- I hope. This blog is an amazing time capsule for me of my thoughts, opinions, and observations about living here in Singapore.

My senior year is coming to a close, and my time in Singapore will be ending shortly afterwards. What will happen to this blog? I suppose I will leave it up, since there are some valuable points on here. Where will I write next? backtoboston2018.blogspot.com, of course. But what will I write about? Will I have more direction in my blog? Will I have ads? Will it be more food based? Student life based? It's hard to say now, but I think the answers will eventually become clear.

I wrote a letter to a great mentor of mine today, and I found it one of the easiest and most difficult letters I have ever sat down and written. It was easy because I knew exactly what I wanted to say: you taught me, and changed me, and I want to be like you. But to write such things would be silly. One cannot just blurt out everything all at once. To craft a letter elegant enough that I would be proud to have her read it, and honest enough for her to understand her impact on me... that was a difficult balance.

I mention this today because I feel I owe Singapore something for teaching me so much. Living here has taught me how to live in a city, even if it's a very safe one. It has taught me about other cultures, and how to truly respect them. It has taught me more about what it means to be Chinese, and I in turn have tried to figure out exactly how Chinese I want to be. Singapore will always been the place I spent my high school years, trying to find out exactly who I want to be.

Race, and Why I Don't Care

I just read an article that there were anti-semitic games and graffiti present in the town where I grew up. While most of the incidents appear to have happened in November, elementary schoolchildren were playing games like "Jail the Jews" and accusing the Jewish of killing Jesus Christ. My old town was not some backwards place full of ignorant trash- it is actually quite diverse and multicultural. Most of the students graduate high school, and that vast majority of them go to college (or junior college). I am sad to say that even in my childhood home, I cannot be surprised that there was racism there even amongst the young children. I remember subtle tensions between different races as we all halfheartedly learned about each other's winter holidays, all certain that our own was the best. I remember how one black kid got bused to Boston when he couldn't remember what bus he went on, and he lived in town. His mother was furious of course, but most of the other families who heard about the case rallied with the school: since most black children lived in the city, there was a good chance that this particular black Kindergartener did too.  Racism is everywhere, and it's easy to forget that if one doesn't have to think about it.

Here's the thing: I ultimately don't care what people are. Sure, I have my stereotypes and prejudices like everyone else, and I'm not afraid to admit it. However, race does not define a person's actions. Beating someone up is not "so ghetto" or "so black", while being super smart doesn't make people "so Asian". Yeah, most of the kids on the math team are Asian, while most of the sports kids are white. Race makes a difference in who you turn out to be, and there's not point in lying about that anymore. .  I evaluate others based on their comportment and decisions,  and I will remember you for your achievements or failures, not the colour of your skin. If you are nice to me, I will remember that. If you are a jerk, it doesn't matter what race you are, you're a jerk. I've been bullied by Jews and Christians alike, but I hate neither of them. I've fallen in love with a Buddhist, but I've known some pretty mean Buddhists too. One's race and religion does not immediately make someone good or bad- how they choose to live their lives does.

I've talked about this issue before, but nothing fails to disappoint me more than hearing that people cannot see people for who they are, rather than the package they come in.

High School is Dramatic

I am pretty horrible about posting these days. I've just been horribly busy with this nonsense called high school, which is an mix of the biggest-waste-of-time, the mildly-entertaining-but-really-stupid, and the actual-learning-experience. I feel like since I've become a second semester senior the only thing I'm motivated to do is pass.

Dance is also keeping me busy, but part of me doesn't enjoy it as much as I used to. I know taking a break from it isn't necessarily the answer- and I'm totally tied up until after the show. Choreography is exhausting and teaching is less rewarding than everyone makes it out to be. Hopefully at the end of the day everything will look lovely, but until then, it drags.

It's prom season again, the third one for me, and the last. It's fun to listen to who is going to ask who, how, when, where... etc. I'm pretty certain I'm going, and I have an idea for who may ask me as a friend. Not certain about after-prom, since I'm underage and really do not know anyone in my grade. Maybe a movie after prom would be fun. It's not a necessity to get wasted on prom night, after all.   We'll see how that works out. Buying a dress is going to be fun, especially since I plan on going with friends again this year. I've never worn a red dress... hmm!

Sitting around in the library waiting for my rehearsal to start, something occurred to me. High school is an extremely artificial environment, and attending high school in Singapore is a little like existing in a bubble in an aquarium. The things I care about now I know I won't be caring about in the future. I'm tired now, but I know I will be more tired later as a proper adult. Maybe this is what all those fancy psychologists are talking about when they say, "delayed adulthood and extended adolescence". I honestly have no idea why people enjoy being high schoolers, except that everything is basically taken care of. I can only fall so far or rise so high, after all. Everything stays suspended in the air, hanging, waiting to drop.

Also, why the heck don't students here use this library? It's massive, beautiful, and has loads of books. It's right depressing to be from the first generation that really does not read. As we lose the beauty of literature in favour of Buzzfeed and Twitter, we lose a complexity of thought. I hope there are always English majors, even if they can't get jobs, because at least they will know how valuable it is to expand one's mind and read.

Gamer Girl?

I've recently gotten a lot more into video games, and I partially blame Interim for introducing me to nerdy gamer friends. One friend plays Magic the Gathering, while another got us both into playing Hearthstone and DOTA (well, me, DOTA). I played Diablo III a lot two summers ago, and even though I'm rusty, I did not suck at the game. I actually played a Wizard and a Monk, and anyone who's interested can ask me about my build and why I chose it. I did not chose the wizard because she was pretty- I picked her because she was super cool. Yes, I started playing because my boyfriend talked me into it, but I also played independently enough to say that I was not playing solely for him. 

Magic the Gathering is fun because the game is very customisable. You can basically play any way you would like, and there are so many cards that you can always improve. However, it's a really expensive hobby since Booster Packs are $4 each and you end up buying a lot of them. Both my MTG friend and I are missing land cards, which is basically how you get the power to play anything. Sort of like wanting to bake a cake, but not having enough flour. It's possible to play, but it can be really miserable. 

I'm just getting into DOTA, and am not sure if I like it yet. The learning curve is horrible and the game is very time consuming. However, it is also a lot of fun because there are so many different ways to play. We'll see. 

Here's the thing about being a girl gamer, which I sort of consider myself to be. If no one knows you are a girl, you're fine. People won't judge you, or laugh at every mistake you make. Rather, they just call you a newbie, chuckle, and move on. However, if you declare that you are female, or it comes up, suddenly every mistake is because you are female. Every victory was somehow easier because the game is nerfed for girls or something, and guys online do not hesitate to assume that you are ugly. Not really sure why this is, but it's annoying. Everyone has internet names that they use to identify themselves. I've changed mine from very feminine to slightly-less-feminine, not because I dislike the name I was using, but because I don't want to have to deal with people knowing my gender up front. This is just silly.  

I'm honestly the only girl I know who plays MTG and Hearthstone. I do know at least one other girl who tried Diablo III just because it was so popular, but that's cool. However, I haven't tried  DOTA enough to say that I play it, so I'm not sure about the gender specs over there. 

It's weird how every now and then, women are reminded that we are supposed to be the fairer sex. We aren't supposed to do male things like play video games, and we get heckled for it when we violate the "dude zone". Boys, grow up please! Women have every right to play what you all play, because they want to!

People Are Rude

 I thought it was one of the most basic rules of social conduct. You do not speak of a party/event unless you know for a fact that everyone you are taking to is attending said event. That's why you don't let children give out birthday party invitations at school, since they are probably not giving invites to everyone. This is the second time this has happened with the same group of people in a relatively short time frame, and it's getting annoying. Did none of their parents ever bother to teach them this rule, or do they just not abide by it? I do not know either way, but people, please sort out your behaviour!

Apparently after-grad has been planned already, and people are already putting down deposits to go. I thought the concept of after-grad was that the whole class goes and parties for one last night together. This perception was wrong, because I only just heard about the event. Maybe it's only for people who party regularly? In which case, I do not understand why so many underclassmen are able to attend.

Turkey!

I had the most amazing trip in Turkey. Sorry I didn't blog about it sooner. I've included many photos in this post, all of which are mine by copyright. So please don't steal them. 

Anyways, Turkey is the land of eating olives for breakfast. No, okay, it's also full of wonderful people, a very interesting culture, and many historical sites. Did you know Troy was in Turkey? The Akropolis? Not many people do, since we see them as "Greek" sites. 

I made an awesome group of friends on the trip who I won't forget any time soon. I don't have permission to post their photos here, but they were honestly the most wonderful people to spend time with. I already miss the poker and Go-Fish. 

Without further ado....

Blue Mosque

Fairy Chimneys

Grand Bazaar Gate 1

Lights in the Grand Bazaar

Underground City, had some really old churches

Cleopatra Pools

Akropolis

Near the Mevlana Museum

All the dried fruits!

Dancing in Troy while representing Boston University like a boss. 

Hope you enjoyed the photos!

Quick Update

Whoops, it's been a while again! I've been super busy getting ready for Interim semester and getting back into dance.

I've also concluded I'm really tired of being a senior in high school. Actually, I'm just tired of the entire institution of it. Especially sharing the bus with the middle schoolers. I've never really thought about it before, but they are incredibly tiny compared in eighteen-year-olds. The whole "social-group" thing is annoying too. I don't understand why we can't all just shut up and be polite to each other instead of analysing every little social interaction.

Tomorrow is also my school's "Valentine's Day" due to Interim Semester, which means many girls carrying roses and many more girls crying in bathrooms. It will also be my first Valentine's Day without my boyfriend in two years. So that's kind of crazy to think about.


At least I'm going to TURKEY tomorrow night! Probably the coolest country ever with one of the richest histories and cultures in the world...

My Stupid Knee, and Organization

It's been a while, as usual. Posting consistently isn't easy for me, even though I used to be pretty good at it. Things worth talking about have been happening though, so it's time for a blog entry.

First off, I've hurt my knee some way or another. I think it started from Chingay rehearsal and got worse when I fell, but what I do know is that it's currently in a black knee brace now. I'm not a huge fan of the brace, but I have stay largely unbroken until after the parade.

Second, Chingay parade rehearsals are exhausting! We had to wait two hours for food last night (which my group didn't eat, since we didn't eat anything at the rehearsal prior), and then we started "rehearsal". I really don't understand why this rehearsal was on a school night. If you do, let me know.

At least Singaporeans are quite nice, at least the ones we were hanging out with while waiting. A bunch of them were playing some card game and doing press-ups when they lost. It was rather entertaining, especially since some of their press-ups weren't very good. My teacher and I agreed that one boy was doing "butt-ups" rather than "press-ups" since he wasn't using his arms!

I ought to be dancing now, but I'm taking it easy with my stupid knee and not dancing until the parade. The athletic trainer person called Tomo here has been really great helping me not fall apart, which is nice. I didn't know Tomo was a person at first, since "TOMO" could be an acronym for something, and the phrase "going to Tomo" could be a person or a location! Whoops XD

Singaporeans?

Isn't this an interesting point of view? It's worth watching the whole thing, or at least getting through her major points. The fact that she's going out and speaking her mind on this is pretty amazing. She says it better than what I can say myself, from a Singaporean point of view. Being an expat, I've had this impression of Singaporeans for a while. Also, she's wicked talented, so you should check out her videos even though she doesn't have many.

That being said, I think Singapore is still a nicer place than New England at times. If this girl thinks Singaporeans are rude, she's obviously seen the eyes-forward-no-stopping-almost-sprint that is the New England gait. New Englanders are often seen as the rudest/meanest in the USA, but they are ultimately tough cookies.

The creativity thing is something to note, though. I'm in Chingay parade as a travelling dancer with my school, and I have to note that the Singaporean costumes are amazing. However, many are extremely traditionally based with only minor alternations. Singaporeans may be able to put on a great show, but it's not a creative show. The music (excerpt of lyrics: "we are so happy to be here today"), the reassurance that together as a country we are great... I'm all for national pride (and heaven's knows cultural cleavage rich Singapore needs it), but it's laid on thick and gets swallowed like cod-liver oil.
Also, the American group (us) is the only travelling group dance that I'm aware of that changes formation. Isn't that strange?

Make of this video what you will. I thought it was worth talking about.

Shallow Singapore Problems

• When your bag of coffee leaks everywhere. 
• When your chocolate bar melts because you left it in a bag outside for 2 minutes. 
• When you miss the MRT and have to wait all of 4 minutes for another one, or 8 if it's a really bad day. 
• Losing your MRT card and having to buy one from the machine. 
• The closet BreadTalk not carrying your favourite roll, so you have to walk all the way to the next one in the next mall over. 

And to think, these horrific Singapore problems continue!

• Being asked to like everything on Facebook, from businesses to celebrities. 
• "Singapore" not trending on Twitter. 
• Chicken rice costing $6 at food courts in the city, but $3 at a hawker centre
• Foreigners+Singlish= "Sorry, what? Huh? Say it again?"
• No bubble gum for sale (but it's okay to chew it)

Race, and Why I Might Keep My Maiden Name

I am really tired of people telling me that racism isn't a problem anymore, and that everyone should move on. Seriously, are these people listening to themselves? Living in Singapore, race is incredibly apparent. I've been over this before, but in case you were curious, expats (Westerners in particular) float in their own bubble, while ethnic Chinese Singaporeans sit on the top of the pile. On the bottom lay Tamil Indians, who are generally foreign (cheap) labor workers. Above them are the housemaids who are Filipino or Malay or whatever else. You get the idea.

Race plays a role in how I, and everyone else in this world, get treated.  My parents get more "really nice, polite, chatty taxi drivers" than I ever will, and they overall seem to get better customer service. I may get cheaper prices when bargaining, but that's about it.

I can't even imagine what it's like to be another minority even more stepped on, like Filipino in Singapore or African-American in the USA. I found this article really disturbing, read it here. I'm sure there were several factors at play when using a job-search site, but come on, really?

I've got a "white" sounding name, and when people meet me they are often surprised that I'm Chinese. They generally then say I look half Chinese, implying my mother is Chinese (and often that she married my father to move to America, but maybe I'm reading into things). On paper, my name is as neutral as any white girl's, which is useful.

If I marry an Asian and take his surname, my name would instantly identify my race. Could this hurt me getting a job? Who knows, but it's something to think about.  What if you have an Asian-sounding surname but are White? Apparently YouTuber Shane Dawson started using that surname because his real surname, Yaw, made him sound Asian and he thought it was hurting his chances of employment.


Make of that what you will.

Vietnam!

Well, I'm back in school so it's about time to post pictures of my vacation. While I could have posted them earlier, that would have been too much effort. So without further ado: Vietnam!